Leave your TV on all the time. Serious. I know you are probably like "Why? That's not smart. Electric bills are crazy right now." Or maybe you are saying to yourself "That's not very environmentally conscious whatsoever." Or maybe you're all "TV? They shut my motherfuckin electricity off 2 months ago, asshole!"
Listen, leave your TV on all the time. But let your kids just zombie out in front of it. It is a fucking incredible babysitter. I'm not kidding. Trust me. It's such a good cash saver.
First of all it costs less than any illegal immigrant you might hire to watch your kids. Believe me. I know. This one time my wife and I found this homeless dude sleeping in a Taco Bell dumpster and we paid him in Taco Bell to watch our kids while we went to Aruba for 2 weeks. Dumbass bum. Those fucking tacos are like a buck.
But with TV? As long as you pay the electric bill she's working overtime, jack. And she's working for about what? 30 cents an hour? Booyeah. Plus if they are watching TV you have time to do shit that has to get done like get a spray tan or watch TV.
Want to know what else? You save big time on food. The boy, he's 2. Before I realized how underutilized the TV was, this kid was wacking down about a 2 liter and a half of Green River a day. I saw him eat a family sized bag of Spicy Hot Fritos in like 20 minutes. That's impressive and I was really proud of him for being such a little badass eating machine but Fritos and GR aint free (unless the surveillance camera at 7 eleven is broke again). But now? He can literally go 36 hours without needing to eat. I'm not kidding. I remember one time he just sat there watching Rambo over and over and over and over. (The new bad ass one where he just fucking disinegrates that asian dude with that big ass 50 cal.!!! Shit is raw as hell!!! How jacked is Stallone in that film? He's 80. Is there a rule about how much verbage can go between two paranthesis before you realize it's just too much and you should just erase the paranthesis?)
Anyway I just wanted to let you guys know you dont need to be spending all that money on clothes and Honey Buns and shit. Economy sucks right now. : (
Peace.
Listen, leave your TV on all the time. But let your kids just zombie out in front of it. It is a fucking incredible babysitter. I'm not kidding. Trust me. It's such a good cash saver.
First of all it costs less than any illegal immigrant you might hire to watch your kids. Believe me. I know. This one time my wife and I found this homeless dude sleeping in a Taco Bell dumpster and we paid him in Taco Bell to watch our kids while we went to Aruba for 2 weeks. Dumbass bum. Those fucking tacos are like a buck.
But with TV? As long as you pay the electric bill she's working overtime, jack. And she's working for about what? 30 cents an hour? Booyeah. Plus if they are watching TV you have time to do shit that has to get done like get a spray tan or watch TV.
Want to know what else? You save big time on food. The boy, he's 2. Before I realized how underutilized the TV was, this kid was wacking down about a 2 liter and a half of Green River a day. I saw him eat a family sized bag of Spicy Hot Fritos in like 20 minutes. That's impressive and I was really proud of him for being such a little badass eating machine but Fritos and GR aint free (unless the surveillance camera at 7 eleven is broke again). But now? He can literally go 36 hours without needing to eat. I'm not kidding. I remember one time he just sat there watching Rambo over and over and over and over. (The new bad ass one where he just fucking disinegrates that asian dude with that big ass 50 cal.!!! Shit is raw as hell!!! How jacked is Stallone in that film? He's 80. Is there a rule about how much verbage can go between two paranthesis before you realize it's just too much and you should just erase the paranthesis?)
Anyway I just wanted to let you guys know you dont need to be spending all that money on clothes and Honey Buns and shit. Economy sucks right now. : (
Peace.
